It is no secret Hellen has always been a critic of major
religions. I also think people have the right to believe as they
choose. It's just that Christian,
Jewish, Muslim, and other religious leaders pervert that to mean they
have the right to
force their beliefs on others. That is not news; it's been going on for
More recently, some religions have experienced major challenges to the
persecution of LGBT+ individuals, subjugation of women and continued
contributions to racial bigotry. Some religious institutions have
changed their dogma to be more inclusive, though most are still have a
long way to go before they can actually be open-minded. Still, it is
to see progress, like the Mormon Church engaging in a dialogue with
the LGBT+ community. The Vatican Pope has repeatedly said that
to be more loving toward the community and has at least taken some
responsibility for ensuring that his priests stop their sexual abuse on
To quote Wikipedia, "In 2020, 47% of Americans said that they belonged
church, down from 70% in 1999." That's a 30% decline in
just one decade!! Frankly, those religions that can't adapt fast
will perish. I think many people are tired of being taught to hate and
other; most would prefer to lift each other up.
Hellen believes that religion is
based more on what is beaten into a person's head while they are a
what they intuitively believe is real. The problem is that most people
also been taught that changing your mind about your beliefs is worse
sinning. On the contrary, I believe having the ability to review and
your belief system is a sign of maturity and intelligence. All human
has been based on the ability for members of society to accept
facts, even when the previous facts were supposed to be
Despite being a critic of major
religions, most of Hellen's friends consider themselves to be Catholic,
Buddhist, Protestant, or a member of another major religion. We are
friends partly because we agree that we can have different points of
view and even discuss our differences without being disrespectful or
trying to convert each other. My friends are all open minded and
progressive as well. Each and every one of them can find the humor in
religions including their own beliefs. No one tells a better Protestant
than a Protestant minister! And Buddhist monks always find a way to
humor into when telling their history! It can be fun to hang out with
people like that, even when they are talking religion. Contrast that
with religions that can't laugh at
themselves. Think about it; how pathetic is a god or profit that makes
followers protect him from even good-natured jokes? That's hardly what
I'd consider mature, let alone praise-worthy.
For those that didn't know, Sister Hellen is a practicing
"And what the Hellen is
Heretaowica?" I hear you ask. Well, it a
spiritual/religious belief system that has been built up over many
decades to incorporate the best of numerous belief systems. Among other
aspect Heretaowica incorporates the enlightenment of religions like
Tao Buddhism mindfulness, the pomp of Catholics, the skepticism of atheists,
the wonder of mystic,
and the wiccan belief that a person can affect the universe with
their mind. Heretaowicans also believe that all, and I mean ALL
other religions are stupid. That includes the atheism, so everyone can
equally insulted (though some should rightfully be more insulted that
others. At the same time, Heretaowicans don't gloat at being superior
or deride other religious followers. that would serve no purpose and be
small-minded. Heretaowica does encourage stylized rituals
including celebrating the bigining and/or ending of things. We believe
that having things come to an end should be celebrated too as the
universe is finite and something has to end for something new to begin.
I personally celebrate Fridays as the end of the week, the last day of
the month, and New Years Eve by wearing specific jewelry or clothing. I
went out and got drunk when I quit my last 9-5 job.
The following are
the basic tenants of Heretaowica
should be fluid; not rigid and inflexible.
True belief stems from an inner search for truth and beauty. This is
the exact opposite of what most religions teach. they give an often
arbitrary set of non-nonsensical rules that were written in a buying a
wife you'd never seen before was perfectly acceptable. But today, there
is no reason to be stuck in the same belief system written hundreds of
years ago. No true religion comes from what other people force you to
believe. Everyone quoted God’s imputable laws was wrong whether they
were preachers, philosophers or scientists. Just accept that and move
on. Heretaowicans review their beliefs often and have no problem with
adjusting them to be better in line with how the universe is actually
working. Their view on life after death, a one true god, many
gods/spirits or how consciousness works evolve and change over time.
This is the way life works; the way your mind should work. Why have a
static dead religions when you can have a living, dynamic religion?
Love your neighbor.
Figuratively and literally.
That means be nice to strangers, kind to your friends, and fun for your
sex partners. Heretaowicans don't burden themselves with monogamy based
on religious belief though mutual respect can sometimes lead in that
direction. In short, try to be kind to everyone. Jealousy, cruelty,
selfishness, and power-plays are for the weak-minded. Try to be patient
with people when the act childish or narrow minded; they have probably
been brainwashed by their parents and holy-people to act that way since
they were born.
You don't have to
love your neighbor if your neighbor is a
People make mistakes, we all have different
wants and need, and it is always preferable to show patience with
some people really are nothing more than selfish little bastards that
harm than good in this world. To be more specific, Heretaowicans are
required to do business with, be polite to, or even converse with
teat others disrespectfully regardless of their reasons. Religious
egotism, bigotry, or whatever allows them to act with prejudice toward
categories of humans they have chosen to degrade don’t mean anything.
words, Heretaowicans are not required to provide comfort or kindness,
do business with right-wing Baptists, Evangelical Catholics, Seventh
Adventists, conservative Mormons, or Donald Trump. For that matter,
to completely ignore anything they say. At the same time, don’t fall
trap. There are perfectly wonderful Mormons that are open-minded and
to people that their religion has persecuted in the past. Likewise,
good Catholics along with the bad.
Don't follow the
Most people are inherently sheep! If you don’t think so,
explain man-buns!! If you follow them, you risk
falling off the cliff with the rest of the lemmings. OK, lost my
mammalian sense of direction there... But seriously, if there was one
true religion, then why doesn't even 20% of the world's population
follow it? Does God want the majority of people to fail? The fact is,
there are more atheists than any formal religion should be a clue, but
even they don't agree on what life means, and most hold some kind of
idea of a higher state of being or enlightenment.
FU<K 'em if they
can't take a joke!
Laugh at yourself as you would laugh at others. Religion, by
definition, is not logical, so there is always an overlap between
belief and comedy. Comedy is basically incongruities that amuse a mind.
It's only the pathetic little sad-sacks that can't find humor in their
religion. I know lots of ministers and priest that are devoted to their
religions but poke good-natured fun at them all the time. ... I like
Fate favors the
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Although Heretaowicans don't subscribe to the idea that you have to try
something once, it still is a good idea to constantly expand your
horizons. Go backpacking in the Alps. Try that new Ethiopian
restaurant. Take a course on theoretical physics. Who knows? You might
find something you didn't know you would love.
Don't sit in front of a computer, bury your face in your phone,
watch hour after hour of TV or immerse yourself in endless gaming. All
these distractions can be fun in limited doses, but there is a much
bigger and more exciting world beyond them. Do find the beauty in
nature, people and yourself. Do create new art or invent. Do help
others to be better people.
Life is short and even if you believe you might get a do-over, that
doesn't mean you should waste this one. Enjoy an organism even if it's
by yourself. Eat something decadent. Go to that party with your
friends. And indulge in other occasional vices; ESPECIALLY HUMOR.
Ritual ritual ritual!
Life is just more fun with a little pomp and circumstance.
don't worry about borrowing from other religions and spiritual beliefs
in order to fulfill their lust for ritual; even if they don't believe
in it at all. I mean, who wouldn't want to dress up in pure white, with
a gold embroidered pointy hat while peons grovel at your feet? Granted,
finding peons isn't always that easy, but there are plenty of ritual
that a Heretaowican can enjoy alone or in groups. Heretaowicans use a
variety of rituals, from breaking objects to send them to the next
plane of existence or eating food that symbolizes devotion/faith to
walking Labyrinths or making offerings to personal shrines. Pick what
works for you and always be open to different rituals that might
brighten your short time on this Earth. It should be noted that most
Heretowicans ritualize either beginnings or ending or both. That may
include births, deaths, week endings/beginnings, New Year etc. Every
time something ends, something new begins. The universe is change.
The unexamined life
is not worth living.
Seriously, Heretaowicans were not raised in a barn like some religion's
deity. Ahem, no names mentioned! They believe in using their minds and
turning their thoughts inward to examine who they are as people. There
is always room for improvement, as we can learn something new every day.
Everybody is different. No one
else is exactly like you. At least 99% of the world looks different
from you. At least 90% of the globe has different religious practices
than you. And everyone loves differently, including you! So there is no
reasonable excuse to treat people poorly just because of these
differences. Show some of the intelligence you were given and grow a
pair! (Balls, boobs or both.) That said, even tolerance has it's
limits. Heretaowicans are not required to be tolerant of asshats and
psychopaths. People who deny service to others based on their skin
color, age, perceived gender, perceived sexuality or religious
affiliation are jack asses. People who knowingly harm other humans
they think it's OK are psychopaths. Heretowicans are not required to
serve or even be polite to either of these types of miscreants.
Specific examples; racists, misogynists, bigots, homophobes or thugs..
Community Service is
You don't need be a Sister of Perpetual Indulgence to be a
Heretaowican, but you are expected to do something for other people.
Volunteer at a senior center, coach a little league, do beach cleanup,
etc. There is no excuse for not helping the society that you are
a part of.
Be respectful of the
Although nearly all people on the planet have religion wrong and as a
have it right, doesn’t mean you need to be a dick about it. It is
nearly impossible to change people's mind about their beliefs (this has
been scientifically tested.) Logic is useless against that, reason is
ridiculous, and examples ineffective. So why not try to get along with
the heathens as the smoke from burning bridges will only give you
Knowledge is power.
Education isn't just for school,
much less a degree. We all know people with degrees that are complete
idiots . And there are also people without them that are highly
intelligent, successful, and even admirable (think Bill Gates.)
Take time to read, especially about relevant topics like health,
science, history, and political justice. It doesn't hurt to read about
religions and philosophies either. You can better understand and
anticipate peoples' reactions when you know how their religions will
force them to act; especially when they have never stop to consider how
they are being controlled.
Communication is key.
The best way to learn new facts and find new interests is to talk to
people. Even people that you might now especially respect can surprise
you with new and invigorating ideas. What's more, you can occasionally
influence other's idea, especially with religious freedom and respect.
The more centered and calmly a Heretaowican discusses their superior
religion, the more likely they will influence another person to at
least be open to people who do not share their particular zelotism.
Sex should be
enjoyable for all involved.
Whether you believe
in monogamy, free love, or you're just a plain old slut; you should
enjoy sex, and so should your partner(s). That means you need to listen
to and consider your partner's needs, as well as express your own
Don't assume they know how fast, slow, hard, or wet you want it; tell
Ask them if they want something and consider at least occasionally
compromising. Practice safer sex if you can, and if you can't, at least
talk about risks and if you have any STD issues beforehand. Don’t feel
guilty if you don’t want to do it again with an individual. You don’t
have to agree to anything if you don’t want to. Neither do they. And
remember to say "thanks" if you had fun.
Heretaowicans do not
Who the hell cares if people follow your belief system? The answer to
that is week-minded insecure people who don't really believe all the
tenants of their religion. Since Heretaowica is so fluid there is
no need to worry whether others will follow the path. It’s fun
to be part of a truly unique religion; kind of like being in an
exclusive spiritual fraternity. Or, like being in on an
inside joke that only you and God get.
* I should note that the order, The Daughters of the Divine Eruption
are not specifically a Heritaowican order.